I haven't been able to tell anyone how the demons would visit me in the night, to keep me awake and to claw at my soul. Not for a long time. Not even my wife who has stood shoulder to shoulder with me during the darkest of times.
Today that all changed. I opened up to a friend I hadn't seen for best part of 15 years. Why? I don't really know. I think it's because I knew he wouldn't judge me, that he genuinely wanted to know how I 'do' the things I do. I told him about my demons and how it has left me feeling in my advancing years. He didn't judge me. He just listened, he then told me he was proud of me. This is something I haven't heard for a long time, gone are the days of feeling proud of what you do, the family don't mention it anymore and the job I used to love became just that; a job. With so much anti police sentiment out there, he made me stop and realise that you know what? The people I work with...
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Continues, Read More...