The Station Sergeant â€¦.... is feeling festive.
By popular acclaim, I am delighted to bring you another selection of Christmas carols rewritten to celebrate the whacky world of policing in 2010...
Good King Gazza
Good King Gazza last looked out,
(He used to be like Rooney*)
Cops with guns all stood about,
Pointing at a loony.
Gazza sank so much that night,
Normal men would sicken,
He could sort out Moaty's head,
With lager, bread and chicken.
'I've brought my rods and dressing gown,
A six pack and some slippers,
My mate Moaty needs to fish,
We can catch some kippers'.
'Gazza go and sling your hook',
Said a passing copper.
'You're not really bullet-proof,
You're bound to come a cropper'.
*Good poetry doesn't have to make sense, it just has to rhyme. Trust me.
O Come All Ye Students
O Come All Ye Students,
Stroppy teenage wasters,
Anarchists, lecturers and Rentatrot,
Come and protest now,
Shout and wave your placards,
No ifs, no buts, just kettles,
No ifs, no...
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