"Who the FUCK decided to call it a sphygmomanometer? WHO?"
"Your mothers fathers fathers uncles great grandmothers aunt was Irish... You're American. Not Irish."
"I want a giraffe"
"If you get cat pee in your eye you will get pregnant and die"
"I don't like bowling. Or Beyonce #Superbowl2013 #SuperbowlXLVII#SuperBowl"
"I want to show Tom Daley my tweets and by tweets I mean my penis"