Did I tell you I own this great company ?
We are â€¦ without a doubt â€¦ the worldâ€™s finest manufacturer of high quality WidgetWangles (weâ€™ve patented, trademarked and copyrighted that name by the way so no getting any ideas !!)
Our WidgetWangles are better, more robust, longer lasting and better value than any comparable product on the market â€¦ and business has been so great that we are expanding beyond all belief.
We now need more people to come and join us; quality people; only the best people for the job; only those that can live and breathe our product â€“ and believe it â€¦ we need the best of the best of the best to become world leading ambassadors of the WidgetWangle world â€¦ to take our products to markets new and make the world a better place â€“ indeed a WidgetWangleWorld !!
Just one small thing â€¦ well two actually. You see, it doesnâ€™t matter to us if you know all about Widgets and Wangles. It doesnâ€™t even matter if youâ€™ve done work experience, an internship or even been a lifelong member of the WidgetWangle fan club and can recite load capacities and structural dimensions to the hundredth point.
No â€¦ if you want to be part of our team, to be a WidgetWangleWarrior, you must die your hair green.
Not just any green, but bright green, nay even luminous green if you really want to make it to the top !
And you must eat blue cheese. not just a nibble now and then, but blue cheese MUST be the staple food in your daily diet.
No ifâ€™s, no buts, no practical experience, or longing to devote your whole life to the WidgetWangleWorld â€¦ if you donâ€™t die your hair green and live on blue cheese, you ainâ€™t coming in â€“ is that clear ??
Sounds a crazy idea doesnâ€™t it ?
But Iâ€™ll tell you something â€¦ for those people who are desperate to work in the world of WidgetWangles, they will do it !
To achieve their lifeâ€™s dream of being the number one performer in the number one company in the world of WidgetWangles, above all else, some people will do whatever it takes to realsie their dream.
You could say my idea is â€˜doomed to succeedâ€™ â€¦ for no matter how foolish an idea it is, it will, at the end of the day â€¦ work.
It will not make my WidgetWangle sellers, makers or promoters a single slither of that blue cheese any better at what they do, and more importantly it will mean that perhaps some of the very best people in the Wangle world; with the best ideas on how to promote the product; how to improve the product; in fact how to take my WidgetWangles and make them even better and more useful in the future, wonâ€™t want to work for me.
They will go and work elsewhere, where the job requirements are not so ridiculous; where they are appreciated and respected for their abilities; their capability; their profound desire to improve the Wangle world â€¦ but it wonâ€™t be with WidgetWangles because they either canâ€™t, or wonâ€™t dye their hair green and live on blue cheese.
Or maybe they arenâ€™t able to afford to by regular supplies of green hair dye, or copious amounts of blue cheese, i mean it isnâ€™t cheap you know. Maybe I could arrange a rather large loan to cover the next three years supplies and you could spend the next thirty years paying me back ??
I did have another idea â€¦ I thought about advertising just for the best people to do the job, and then taking the time over the next couple of years training them and providing them with the knowledge to know which is the best blue cheese to eat. You never know, at the end of it, some might like blue cheese and some might not .. and some might even decide to dye their hair green
What I will have though, is a workforce that knows what itâ€™s talking about; will live and breathe the world of WidgetWangles, will be fully experienced in helping our customers choose just the right WidgetWangle for their needs, and ultimately will help me help WidgetWangles to flourish and grow for a long time to come.
And you know what ? Demanding my prospective employees dye their hair green and live on blue cheese is just about as viable an idea as demanding that anyone who wants to become a police officer MUST have a degree BEFORE they are even allowed to apply for a job.
And thatâ€™s a fair â€˜Degreeâ€™ of common sense