Hereâ€™s the second part of Charlieâ€™s blog, where she shares some of the stories of domestic and sexual abuse she has heard and gives her views as a survivor of abuse herself.
It is a basic human right for all of us not to be violated, not to be detained, scared, or abused, and for our bodies to be our own. Sadly, we still live in a society where this basic human right doesnâ€™t exist for many.
The number of people I have met, stories I have listened to, of hellish violence, rape and manipulation on our very own doorsteps â€“ and lives lost.
I could write pages and pages of incidents and names of women and children that have been mentally and physically tortured and killed at the hands of men.
It is not so simple as speaking out or leaving; it is in the attempt at leaving that some victims are killed. Many victims donâ€™t speak out because they are ashamed, scared of the perpetrator or scared of being vilified and judged by society.
All you have to do is look at social media to see why. Victim blaming still exists; it creates a false sense of security that â€˜it couldnâ€™t possibly happen to me, I wouldnâ€™t behave like that, I wouldnâ€™t put up with it, and I wouldnâ€™t wear that.â€™ It is an institutionalised belief, and admitting that the victim is innocent means that we admit that we are all vulnerable. The attitude of victim blaming ultimately protects perpetrators.
Manipulation and control are at the heart of domestic and sexual abuse. It is cold and calculated and never the victimâ€™s fault.
Charlie at the launch of the Football United Against Domestic Violence campiagn last Sunday, at Bournemouth v. Liverpool Premier League match.
It makes me seriously worried when in this day and age members of the public still target victims with name-calling, abuse and blame. Maybe it shines a light on their own behaviour?
After all, it is gender stereotypes, sexist behavior and the objectification of women that underpins violence against women. How can we possibly encourage victims to speak out if there isnâ€™t a safe forum to do just that?
It is hard enough for a victim to get out of bed in the morning, face the day and come to terms what has happened to them.
It is up to both men and women to change that to create one voice against abuse.