Police Constables employed as Diversity Trainers all over London can relax. So can Chief Inspectors obsessed with targets.
They won’t be going ‘back to the blue’ after all.
I was not included on the ‘short list’ for the Metropolitan Police Commissioner job. This is an outrageous state of affairs. I am convinced that I have the strategies necessary to restore order to the city. I can even say the word ‘Community’ loads of times in an interview.
Besides, if I’d got the job we could have made a great tee shirt.
In other news; outraged newspaper readers are, well, outraged by the failure of two police officers to move quickly over a static photo and arrest a knife-wielding teenager who was, well, arrested, some time afterwards. Don’t you just hate it when you are stuck in a single frame photo, unable to chase offenders or even speak.
This is how it should have happened. Chase knife-wielding youth. Catch knife-wielding youth. Fight with knife-wielding youth using a small tin of pepper and an aluminium stick. Arrest knife-wielding youth, book in to custody, spend 8 hours completing unnecessary forms, being knocked back by CID, interviewing knife-wielding youth, feeding knife-wielding youth and begging CPS to charge knife-wielding youth.
Bail knife-wielding youth, if still allowed to bail suspects at that time.
Then, six months later, attend Court, watch knife-wielding youth plead guilty and walk away with pathetic so-called community sentence. Bang head repeatedly against wall in this fashion for another thousand times, collect depleted pension and then die.
Damn, they should have given me that Met job.