The Armed Forces are at their lowest strength since before the Second World War. Â Successive Strategic Defence Reviews have seen to that. Â Only this week we waved goodbye to HMS Illustrious, off to a scrapyard somewhere. Â Heaven knows when her replacement will be in situ with some fast jets aboard. Â Itâ€™s the cuts you know, damned Armed Forces trying to save money, donâ€™t they realise our country is at risk NOW?
Hospitals are closing their Maternity Units, A&E Departments etc etc. Â Patients are inconsiderately cluttering up the corridors for hours before taking up a bed somewhere. Â Surely they could be a bit more thoughtful. Oh? Itâ€™s the cuts you say? Â Tight National Health Service trying to save some money while patients die eh?
The Prison Service have gone off piste and have decided to recruit some new Prison Officers. Â They got told about the cuts but the prisoners werenâ€™t having any of that so they started a few riots, prisoners and Prison Officers got injured so the soft Prison Service decided to recruit a few more to keep the prisoners happy.
Local Councils across the land have got the message. Â They are moving books OUT of libraries to make space for staff and desks and computers etc. Â Itâ€™s the cuts, stingy councils trying to save themselves some money. Â Meals on Wheels? Remember them? Care for the elderly? Â Leave them in hospital blocking the beds, that will save us a few thousand.
The Coastguards, theyâ€™ve done their bit too. Â Shut a few of their coastal stations, outsourced their heliborne rescue service and shed a few coastguards. Â That will help. Â Who needs safety on our waters, a smaller bill is all we need.
20,000 fewer Police Officers, about 650 fewer Police Stations, savaged Pension Schemes. Â The Police are doing their bit. Â The only problem there is that crime is going UP. With fewer officers to deal with it, prevent it or solve it thatâ€™s a tad problematical, but never mind it will sort itself out, itâ€™s only the cuts after all. Â Now, apparently, the Police are somehow responsible for monitoring, or caring for, everyone who is released from Police Custody back into Society. Â Where on earth are the resources for that coming from. Â Never mind, the cuts will sort it out, they can stop doing something else instead.
As I got to the end of this far-from-exhaustive â€˜listâ€™ it occurred to me that there is in fact a Common Denominator. Â Her Majestyâ€™s Government. Â Now led by Theresa May she has continued with all the old policies of Camoron, and her own as Home Secretary, and it is actually THE GOVERNMENT that are responsible for all these failings. Â The BBC and The Mail have been criticising individual organisations for years, but it has now become crystal clear to me, the Government did it. Not the Prison Service, not the NHS, Not the Armed Forces, not the Coastguard Service, not the Police. Â It was the government all along. Â How did the BBC and The Mail not notice this? Crikey, it seems so simple now.
Maybe if we ask Cruella of the Â£1000 trousers nicely sheâ€™ll put it all back the way it was, except I fear that itâ€™s far too late for that. The damage is done and the damage is deep.
Well done Mrs May. You must be very proud of what you and your party have achieved.